Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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