After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
