don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i came on her dog
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
