Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
