just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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