FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
