Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We have started to decorate penises.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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