Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he thought i was a dude.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
