But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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