SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
