i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
