Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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