some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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