Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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