you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
