just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
