As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
