How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
