I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
