Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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