Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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