it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
