did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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