Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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