Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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