1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
