Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
