party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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