omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
