Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
