he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
