dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
