You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
