sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
