who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I showed him my bush... on skype.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
