It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
