Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
