Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to align my fucking chakras
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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