Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
