Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
