she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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