fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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