i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
