I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
soo... how was my night?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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