please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
