I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
