Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
