girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm just crazy horny about you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
