Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
