I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
