am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you will always have a special place in my vag
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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