My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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