Buhtt sex?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
